Technology
and Attention
What
is the average human attention span? Well in a short news story broadcasted by
WBRZ it was stated, “According to
the National Center for Biotechnology Information, the average attention span
has dropped from 12 to 8 seconds in the matter of just a few years. The average
attention span of a goldfish is 9 seconds.” How can an organism, which is
significantly less developed and intelligent, have a larger attention span than
humans? Well for that we can thank modern technology and the rapid increase of
handheld devices over the past 3-4 years.
Technology has rapidly changed the
society we live in today. It has made the seemingly impossible possible and
allowed unimaginable feats to be performed with the most precise precision and
detail. Technology, especially smart phones and social media, has transformed
the way people interact and connect. This change is quite evident on college
campuses and the difference seen now as apposed to 10-15 years ago. In the WBRZ news program, that looked into
the effects of smart phones on the Louisiana state University campus, Social
Etiquette Expert Marthanne Calvi stated “We have a generation that does not
want to deal face-to-face with other people. They are simply more comfortable
with that machine." These “machines” allow individuals to be connected
with one another without the physical interaction. This means that people’s
attention, in particular college students, is more focused on their smart
phones and the digital worlds, than what or whom is physical right in front of
them.
Weiss,
Brittany. "Technology Makes Our Attention Spans Shorter than a Fish."
WBRZ. WBRZ, 26 Nov. 2014. Web. 09 Mar. 2016.
I really like this introduction, but I think that I'm missing the link between your pitch and the intro of your paper. Make sure to include the difference between the "writing a note" and being on your phone, from the pitch. Also make sure to avoid comma splices. Your source seems really interesting so far, and I'm excited to see where you are going to go with the rest of this paper: maybe having that "roadmap" somewhere in the intro of your paper would help to see where the reader is going to be taken with your ideas.
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